Mindset is key. Perspective is key. Gratitude is key.
Like most, I always try to put my best foot forward, but I don’t want to BS you guys. I have days (many, in fact) when I get down on myself, and you know what? That’s totally ok. I’m not ashamed to admit that I get insecure, jealous, and depressed from time to time. After all, I am human!
As much as I love social media, it can seriously be damaging. I mean, it’s hard when you don’t see struggle. I’ve observed it in both the music & blogging worlds, and it’s almost taboo to talk about – as if setbacks detract from achieved accomplishments.
This kind of thinking is beyond harmful because then you start to question your own value and worth. You begin to think you’re not talented enough, smart enough, or pretty enough. You lose sight of reality and forget to acknowledge everything amazing in your life.
1. Train yourself to see the positive in every situation.
I’m not telling y’all to avoid the negative because, well, that’s straight up denial at its best, but try and see the good (a glass half full, not empty kind of deal). I know it’s easier said than done, but like all good habits, you cultivate it with time. Try replacing complaints with grateful remarks to start, and remember that everything’s a conscious decision on your part.
2. Stay in the now.
There’s nothing more damaging than dwelling on the past or fixating on the future. Forgive yourself and others for past transgressions and move forward. Let go of the heartbreak you experienced and think about the lessons you learned from said experience. Holding a grudge? What for? That negativity’s only hurting you.
Learn from your mistakes and use them as stepping stones to effectively grow as a person. Spend less time wishing for more and acknowledge all that you have. If you need help staying positive, try journaling. Write down 5 things – or if that’s too much, 1 to start – you are grateful for at the beginning and end of every day. It’ll help you develop a more optimistic outlook, which will in turn improve the quality of your life.
3. Choose to see beauty.
I know this sounds cheesy as hell, but I don’t care. A long time ago, I had a close friend named Chris. We’ve lost touch since, but I met him while I was getting my master’s degree, and he honestly changed my life.
He was just great. He had the most amazing attitude, and I learned a lot from him. He appreciated every tiny thing he came across and never failed to point it all out.
I won’t ever forget our first hang. We went to a cafe to grab lunch, and he thought it’d be cool to eat in Central Park. I didn’t really want to go, but I didn’t want to seem like a Scrooge so I grudgingly went. I remember thinking
“Omg, I bet it’s so dirty there! Where are we going to sit?”
“Leaves are going to get in my pasta!”
“I hope it’s not super busy! I don’t want to deal with a huge crowd.”
“Ugh, my shoes are like 5 inches high – I’m gonna die if we walk more!”
Well, when we got there, he kept commenting on the pretty leaves – it was fall at the time – and weather. I realized then and there that my crappy attitude kept me from enjoying, well, everything. There I was making a new friend, people watching, enjoying delicious food, and absorbing nature, yet I had a frown on my face? What kind of garbage is that?
Moral of the story: if you’re looking to focus on the bad, there will be a butt ton of it. You, and you alone, are responsible for your happiness so strive to see the good in all situations to make the most of your life.
Be grateful for all that you have because someone out there wishes he or she could be in your position, and remember that it’s all about perspective and attitude. Sending so much love from the DMV!
